Pink Peonies = Love.

I had a dream last night...

I was at a wedding, a beautiful outdoor wedding on the lawn in someone's backyard. There were a few clouds in the sky, but no one seemed to care. White fold-up chairs lined both sides of the aisle. I don't remember anyone who was there...all I remember is the bride walking down the aisle with the most gorgeous bouquet of pale pink peonies I have ever seen.

I have no idea why I had this dream or why the flowers are what struck me, but what I do know is that it has given me great joy all day just remembering those images. God is good.

Believe and be satisfied.

When I was in Canada a few weekends ago, my dear friend Bre gave me this to encourage me. I've been trying to figure out who wrote it, but no luck so far. I've read it almost everyday since...what a beautiful reminder it is!

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says to a Christian, "No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me alone. I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

"I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you that most thrilling plan existing, one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the BEST! Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching me, expecting that satisfaction, expecting the greatest things, and know that I Am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait!

"Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have received. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

"And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever imagine. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working this very minute to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satsifeid exclusively with me and the life I have planned and prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me...and this is perfect love.

"Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with myself. Know that I love you utterly, I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied."

--Author Unknown

Football Season

What is it about college football that just makes me go completely crazy? Like, really....I wear UW colors every Saturday, if I can't watch or listen to the game then I get text updates every ten minutes from my dad or brother, I have a tendency to bash WSU on a regular basis (forgive me), the color crimson becomes evil, and if the Dawgs don't win (which happens often, unfortunately) I literally get depressed. What is it about guys running and tackling each other trying to gain possession of a silly ball that gets my heart pumping? These questions ran through my mind yesterday as I watched the UW lose their opening game of the season against BYU (really??!). Most of it has to do with the fact that I grew up with a father who has been a season ticket holder for the past 20 years. One year, we even had a purple and gold themed Christmas tree...I'm not kidding. And don't even get me started on the Apple Cup. Anyways, all I'm getting at is: I'm a committed Husky football fan. I don't know every one of the players names, nor do I know every stat like my crazy father, but as far as I'm concerned...they are my team. And although they often let me down (at least in the past couple years), I still love them.

Now, I'm not saying my love for the Huskies in unconditional, because that is certainly not the case! But this just got me thinking about the Lord (haha...from football to God, go figure). No matter what we do, God still loves us. We can mess up, take a wrong turn, make a bad decision, yet His love is constant. This doesn't mean we can just keep sinning and never think twice of course, but isn't it wonderful to know that the God of the universe longs for us to be in relationship with Him, despite our imperfections??

Anyways, random thoughts....but that's just me. I love football....but I love God much more :)

Go Huskies!

"My Joy...Your Joy"

This was the title of the daily devotion in My Utmost for His Highest the other day...and my goodness, it certainly is what I needed to hear. Sometimes it seems like things are going great - life is good and there is nothing that could possibly alter that happiness. Unfortunately, we all have at one time or another gotten hit with something huge in our lives, something which we felt was too big for us to handle. Many of us, including myself, have struggled but made it through those times of hurt and pain...but certainly not in our own strength. For me, this season in my life is one of healing. Restoration. A time when God is truly molding me into the young woman that He intended for me to be. Of course, there is still often times pain during healing. When I read this devotion, I realized just how much I long to be joyful.

These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full —John 15:11

We cannot have joy when we are so consumed by our own circumstances. It takes surrender and sacrifice to be joyful...take Jesus for example: Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. - Hebrews 12:2

Beauty in the Broken

2010 has not at all been what I would have expected it to be...in fact, it has been completely the opposite. Academic pressures, family issues, heartbreak, and financial worries have all plagued me. Sometimes it never seems to release, as if there is a gigantic weight on my chest that I can't move. Yet despite all of this, I've never felt the love of God more in my entire 21 years of existence. Romans 8:35-39 says that nothing can separate me from His love, and this I believe with all my heart. God is so good, and He is all we ever need.

"Here I am, at Your feet

In my brokenness complete."

Starfield